Wednesday, June 23, 2010


Warning: This post is not for those blessed with a delicate constitution!

Ever noticed how, after eating corn, the kernels seem to, erm, reconstitute themselves in one's bowels? They are clearly visible in one's poop the next day.

Well, some years ago, I, along with two friends (who shall remain nameless for obvious reasons) decided to conduct an interesting experiment to make sure that this was, in fact, true. For an entire weekend, we ate nothing but corn, and observed the output. You understand, of course, that this was entirely scientific in nature; absolutely nothing puerile going on here... As I recall, another ingredient was involved (again, to prove some point or the other), but I'm damned if I can recall what it was. I have an APB out to find out what it was, and will update this post accordingly. (Update: I just found out: it was cashews, for the same reason. Thanks, Davio - so much for nameless!)

Anyway, sure enough - the theory did, indeed, turn out to be true. Sadly, none of us took pictures of the resulting output, always necessary in any scientific experiment to establish proof beyond doubt. BUT: The internetwits have, once again, come to my rescue. This is a must-see. While a picture of the input is fine, I'm reluctant to include the relevant output picture here; but if you click through you will see the results.

Bonus: While you're at it, you must see this article, the "Private Pain of Akiko." Make sure to scroll down for the delightful picture in question! A thing of beauty is a joy forever. (While you're there, check out the archives at this delightful site.)

My next experiment? Asparagus.


Anonymous said...

A delightfully corny story sir. No joke- I just bought asparagus this morning, so I'll be breathlessly waiting for the outcome of that "study." :)

David said...

Maybe we should both do the experiment at the same time ... after all, for any decent scientific project, one needs a good sample size! So: identify yourself, my good man! (This is a 'boy' thing, so Anonymous has gotta be a guy...)